Enjoy a laugh on April Fool’s Day- it’s good for your health. Studies show laughter has a direct effect on blood pressure, stress hormones and increases “muscle flexion”. It also enhances immune response, and boosts endorphins; the “feel good” chemicals. 

So in keeping with that thought – enjoy this “healthy” advice found floating around the internet today.

Subject: A conversation with my Doctor. 

  Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? 

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it…. Don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. 

 Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? 

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of yourrecommended daily allowance of vegetable products.   

 Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? 

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! 

 Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? 

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies your ratio is two to one, etc. 

 Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? 

A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain…Good! 

 Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you? 

A: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!! …. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?  

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? 

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.  

Q: Is chocolate bad for me? 

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It’s the best feel-good food around!  

Q: Is swimming good for your figure? 

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me  

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? 

A: Hey! ‘Round’ is a shape!  

 AND…… For those of you who watch what you eat , here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies. 

 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.  

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.  

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.  

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 

 5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.   

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.  

It’s so tempting! You’re flipping around the dial, watching late-night TV, and the ad catches your eye. Exercise programs that promise nothing but fun and results, with loads of happy and muscular models touting the benefit. Before and after shots that are nothing short of miraculous. Equipment that stores under the bed or in the closet  but rivals gym quality. Earnest TV stars and fitness celebrities who urge you to trust them and buy!

How many of you have called the toll-free number in an inspired ( or weak) moment? And how many of those promises did your late night purchase deliver?

The truth of it is,  you have very little chance of succeeding with equipment and fitness programs purchased this way.   No matter what you think you’re getting from seeing it on television, there are always a few surprises.  Gliders that don’t glide,  home gyms that turn out to be more difficult to operate than advertised,  equipment that seems a lot more shoddy in the light of day. 

Not only that, but in order to succeed at your fitness goals, your equipment has to fit YOU – your likes and dislikes, your fitness level, your budget, your space, and your schedule.   And the only way that can happen, is to see it, try it, and ask questions about it.  Chances are, if you could try out that home infomercial equipment before you bought it, you might opt for something else entirely. 

 Maybe you’d go for a Precor elliptical or treadmill, the standard in commercial gyms everywhere for it’s quality and durability. Or an Inspire home gym, top rated  for a solid body workout in a small space, or a Landice treadmill, voted #1 in  customer satisfaction by a leading running magazine.  We also have bikes and free weights and kettle bells and fitness balls, and yes, even some of the fitness products that you see advertised in those late-night infomercials!

So do yourself a favor and come on out to see us at MGL Fitness. We’d love to talk to you about the best way to reach your fitness goals, with equipment and products to fit your budget, lifestyle, and fitness personality.   Bring your gym shoes and kick the tires and try stuff out before you buy. We’d love to set you on the road to fitness. Then, rest easy, knowing that MGL Fitness stands behind its products and service – for more than 20 years serving customers in Green Bay and Appleton just like you.

And that’s something you just don’t get with a late night 800 number!